I’m gonna take a quick nap starter pack
By - MythOak
Don't forget the barking dog, the arguing neighbors, and the police/fire/EMS sirens!
Don’t forget the urge to pee! As soon as I commit to going to sleep, my scumbag bladder decides it’s pee pee time.
Sometimes i get unreasonably mad when i need to pee
The worst is after you finally go pee you can’t seem to get back to sleep
This annoys me to no end. If I wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee, I know if I do I'll end up being up for another hour or so. Sometimes I'm tired enough to just ignore my bladder and go back to sleep, but either way I hate it
Interestingly enough I found out that sleep apnea can be one of the reasons that you get up to pee in the middle of the night.
As explained by my doctor last week, when you enter REM sleep, your body's production of urine ceases. If you never reach REM sleep, you'll have to wake up and pee routinely through the night.
Of course there are other reasons too, prostate issues in men for example.
I need to look into this because I pee five times a night.. but I also dream so I am entering rem sleep, right?
Luckily I don't suffer from sleep apnea, but I do pee pretty often - it started when I started forcing myself to drink a lot more water each day, which has a lot of benefits, but yes I do pee much more frequently now. I also drink caffeine pretty regularly so I imagine that also doesn't help haha.
I haven't really noticed any other symptoms that could point to prostate issues, and I am only 24, but I have considered getting that checked just in case. Doesn't hurt to check and as I understand it, prostate issues are much easier to treat the earlier you catch them.
If you're 24, unless you've started a heavy water intake lifestyle, should absolutely *not* be getting up to pee in the middle of the night even once.
Being 24, the likelihood of it being a prostate problem is relatively low ( way more common in men over 50), but you're right, the sooner you can catch something the better and if you have access and can afford it, there's really no reason to not get it checked out.
All the best dude!
just do what I do and *dream* you're going pee.
Your snoovatar looks like admiral thrawn
Yeah! That was the inspiration for making it! I’m glad someone noticed haha
LOL my bladder does this thing where it sends down like a stream or two down towards my dong to let me know I'll need to go real bad in about 15 mins. So it's like telling me I can go now or wait and it'll wake me up for sure later. My lazy ass will just lie there until the nap is thoroughly ruined and now I'm in an unreasonably bad mood. My bladder is a complete ass.
And if you don't, your dreams will be plagued with an endless search for a bathroom.
And when you do find the bathroom in your dream and use it, you end up wetting the bed in real life.
Taking a piss in my dream results in me searching for a new bathroom 5 seconds later.
I've peed in dreams many, many times, and never wet the bed. is there something wrong with me?
you may need to see a urologist in your dreams
... i think you should move...
Some of these noise issues took place in downtown Chicago many decades ago, and some, more recently, in Phoenix. Those were the only two really big cities I have lived in for any length of time.
In both cases, I certainly did move. I'm just not a big city person at all.
Last time I was in Chicago was for a buddy's wedding. We were at least 20 floors up in the hotel. Couldn't nap at all (hungover the day after the wedding) due to all the sirens. It's crazy how far the sound traveled.
I actually love big cities the sirens don’t bother me at all they’re comforting in a way just knowing there’s energy/things going on
Even when they wake you the fuck up?
Highrise buildings reflect and refract sound all too effectively.
If there is one thing I've learned from moving around, it is that there is no escaping the barking dogs and annoying neighbors, both of whom are often a package deal.
the burbs are sometimes just as bad as the city. sirens become lawnmowers and weedwackers, construction and traffic noises become the piercing squeal of children and that dog that will never shut up.
The burbs were actually the worst of all. I had a water heater that would rattle my wall and the neighbor's single dog would not bark but would instead howl underneath my bedroom window because those crook fucks couldn't be bothered to let it inside in the sweltering summer heat. Always a damn dog
*gestures to the current housing situation*
Lawnmower is also missing
Lawnmower & leafblower
I live in the hood with cheap rent. So we get crackheads outside yelling or the sound of basketballs.
Or the train station and your neighbor's loud ass parrot who never shuts the fuck up
The light rail in north Phoenix, which had a lot of recorded announcements, not to mention accidents with cars, fights, thefts, you name it.
And that guy who keep masturbating furiously in the apartment above you
My downstairs neighbors play a drumkit for hours at a time most days
Don't forget the people who love to rev/race their loud pipe car/truck/motorcycle.
Dogs that bark are the worst
Dogs can be trained not to bark randomly all the time. If dogs bark all the time for no particular reason, they are probably bored and neglected.
Owners that do nothing about it are the worst. Which is probably most of them.
people shouting at their barking dog are even worse than the dog
"SHUT UP, DAMMIT!"
ETA: Dog probably thinks his name is "Dammit."
My neighbor: "Greta-Mae, you stop it!"
My neighbors are constantly yelling at their dogs to 'COME'. The dogs are always on their postage sized property and one is evem missing a leg. A dog run or even a long leash would solve that problem if getting up is too difficult.
First thing I thought of
And don’t forget the lawnmower
And the occasional leafblower/lawnmower combo
And the backpack leaf blowers
Ugh, the effing phone notifications. Then you silence your phone and a call you actually want comes.
Ugh, this. I don't hear from anyone all day, but the second I drift off to a nice nap, every single one of my clients calls me.
One of the benefits of having no or not alot of friends is that your phone doesn't get blown up throughout the day
This is the way
You forgot douchy loud cars.
AKA trucks with loud engines or people speeding up really fast in their 2002 Malibu or sometimes I even hear fuckers play their horn like it’s a drum at 2 am
And the asshole kid who decides to ride up your street on an electric scooter playing Lil Barnacle on full blast
literally just happened to me
guy drove buy with his unmuffled ricer and which then set off a car alarm
I have bad luck with trains. I just stayed at an airBnB (yaaaay first outing in over a year!) which had a loud train near by, and every other airBnB ever before that EXCEPT one!! I never nap, unless I’m traveling so of course I always pick the spots with horn happy train engineers. A huge train blaring for 10+ seconds, over and over every two hours is probably the only thing worse than loud crappy cars.
You forgot the gardeners coming around right when you start to get comfy
leaf blowers everywhere
Tactical leaf blowing squad rolls through the neighbor hood
Why don't they use the damn electric ones. Those gas ones are loud abominations which pollute more than a pickup truck.
Batteries needed to keep it going all day long (no one ever leaf blows for less than 2 hours) would be too heavy and having a chord is inconvenient. Also what the hell is a rake?
Some weeks the lawn care people for my landlord come by like two or three times at 8am and spend way too much time mowing and weedwhacking. Like sure you gotta make money but my one bedroom house doesn’t need it twice weekly
My new next door neighbors are two older people with diminishing mental facilities (clear after more than one convo with the wife). The husband will start his lawn work, get distracted, leave the mower or blower sitting and running, and come back 15 minutes later.
I work late shifts, I'll be in bed til 11 sometimes. He starts at 7am. It's been a test of patience.
Forgot the leaf blowers!
Every time I wanna nap suddenly everyone and their goddamn mom wants to text me or call me. End up waking up hours later with over 100 notifications.
I could sleep for a month and wouldn’t wake up to that.....
Nah you would wake up in a hospital and a surprised doctor explaining that you’ve been in a coma for a month
Yep. I used to have Fridays as my sleep days. Worked late the night before and businesses and their employees are usually already mentally checked out so i avoid doing errands.
But yep, even people know its a bad day to reach me, that's the day i get All the calls and texts. Especially from the people who know its my rest day. I know very well how much the power of suggestion influences others subconscious actions so i regret telling people that.
Ugh, the phone always ringing.
Nobody I know calls, they all always text. Even close family just texts me, sometimes to say "Can I call you?"
UNTIL the second I lie down for a nap, then some cosmic force tells everybody I know, eh I'll just go straight to a phone call.
Fucking birds 😒
Yeah I didnt think that through haa
Not necessarily perverse; after all, that is exactly what these flying dinosaurs are doing with each other. They're making all that noise to attract sex partners so that they can reproduce.
Prefer that to cicadas. It's around 80-90db outside my house during the day. And my room is right next to 2 trees
The extended warranty on your car is about to expire...
Night shift. All sleep time is this. I'm tired
I feel you.
The incoming call that wakes you is *always* spam.
I tried to nap once in college and 10 minutes in the actual marching band decided to go past my window
That's when I would stand in front of my windows with my PJs on and sleep mask on my head and just stare at them.
Back in middle school we would practice for the Christmas parade around the neighborhoods near the school and I loved doing it but now, years later, I realize that might’ve woken some people up from their naps.
Where are the 90 lawnmowers all mowing at once?
Or chainsaws or angle grinders
And if you do manage to fall asleep, you end up sleeping for hours instead of 15-20 minutes like you intended
That was me yesterday. I wanted 1 hour and accidentally got 5
The reaction getting up is the same as time traveling
What about that mosquito who buzzes right next to your ear
Or fire ants that have actually swarmed into your bed via a tiny crevice in your floor, and have decided to bite you all at once. This actually happened to me.
Your former classmates, former co-workers, distant relatives and childhood friends suddenly have an urge to call/message you
Neighbors talking super loud right by your house or apartment
I live in the hood so there’s loud rap and randb music, arguing, modded cars going 60 in a 25, and fire works.
I don't see "Spouse/kid/roommate/other family knocks on door and asks if you're sleeping".
those JBL FLIP’s are legit
Yes but if napping and you set the timer to stop the music, they go out with a loud sound -.-
That’s your Bluetooth disconnecting. Try using a cable instead.
You can disable that via the JBL app
Just...turn it off before you go to bed.
Happened last night, stray dogs decided it was a good time to start the fight club at 3 am
Feral cats do the same thing.
Or become amorous.
The reason I called it fight club is that the dogs have more consistent timing in a day to start raging at each other, which is around 1-2 am near my fucking window. Cats tend to pick a fight constantly throughout the day, at least that’s what I observed.
The endless lawnmowers from landscaping companies.
You forgot the door to door salesperson deciding to conveniently ignore the NO SOLICITING sign on my door that only seems to show up when I'm half asleep.
What about that call from your parent or spouse where they suddenly feel like talking your head off for half an hour about nothing....
Or...you're suddenly on a group text!
After the gym I want to nap and our fucking landlord is ALWAYS out cutting grass or doing some shit at 3pm. Like bro, do it at 9 or 10 or something when it isn’t too hot out.
can you believe this guy doing work in broad daylight why you are trying to take a lil nap
For real. 3pm is not some outlandish time to mow the lawn
imagine if they made some kind of personal device to block out sound, rather than expecting everyone else to cater to a random guys arbitrary nap time
Dude our neighbor is an early bird. He was out plowing his driveway at 4am. We give him shit about it all the time
4am? What an ass
For real. That is a definite problem lol
Yeah that's like a talk to the hoa level issue right there
Honestly that’s like, town ordnance level...
Most towns are going to be out plowing at 4am too depending on the weather forecast. Good luck with that one.
Curious if you live somewhere it snows and are responsible for snow removal. You don't exactly get to pick and choose when it will fall and if you leave it the accumulation can get pretty unmanageable. It's pretty acceptable to be out clearing snow late at night/early morning if there's a big snow storm.
To be fair i think plowing is an exception after a heavy snow storm. It takes a lot of time to clean even if using a snowplow.
Yeah plus the guy could have some essential job which requires him to be there normally at 6am, so getting up early to plow his own driveway isn't crazy.
Especially if his car is blocked in or something.
It's the universe telling you not to nap. It's too dangerous to nap
'I wanna ride my moooooooooooooo-torcycle.'
And rev it up in their residential neighborhood.
dont forget the upstairs neighbort basically dropping bowling balls on your ceiling.
my neighbours sometimes play dice on a hard surface for HOURS
Isn't this the " home after nightshift"-starter pack?
Home after graveyard shift...
The short nap becomes a three hour sleep.
I am now suddenly itchy
And a construction vehicle driving in reverse seemingly forever.
Beeping like crazy!
The fucking birds, man. Ugh.
You forgot the most notorious one of them all....the lawnmower
Don’t forgot the lawn mower
Where is the lawn mower
Had the day off so I was going to sleep in.
At 8am workers started literally tearing the chimney off the neighbor's place for repairs.
And someone has to knock on the door when your trying to nap
Dogs bark when mailman comes, I get too hot, turn on the fan, get annoyed.., I could go on for a while
Then there are people using fireworks in April during the day
Yep...probably celebrating somebody's birthday or whatever. Or for no particular reason at all.
Birds are so loud. Some people like get insensitive to birds but my ADHD ass can not block them out. Turn down the bird volume
Remembering that phone call/email I have to make right as I lay down do I can’t even rest 🙃
Face starts itching for no reason
"Well, time to go back to my daily job of hammering on this piece of metal for 8 hours straight"
forgot the lawnmower lol
My apartment has a clothes shop right under it, and 2 VERY busy bars (i could hear a guy drunkenly cry yesterday night). The shop plays some shitty rap music or generic pop so loudly i can hear the fucking lYRICS. I can't sleep from 3 to 6 PM. My mother went to talk to him, and he said ''i have a buisness running''?????????? MF do you sell music?
No lawnmower, followed by weed eater, followed by leaf blower (to blow grass clippings / weeds into neighbors yard).
Also the loud car stereos
With the subwoofers that make your whole house bounce, and shake your brain inside your head like jelly in a jar!
Don’t forget Cicadas for the summer seasons. Oh my god those things are loud
Me: **sleeping after a storm fucked my neighborhood up**
Some guy at 9:30 AM: **haha, chainsaw goes brrr**
Guy on a Harley or guy with loud exhaust
Don't forget the douchebag that drives by with no muffler and music blaring
Laughs in 3 acres
One time I had a kid stand outside my window and play a kazoo while I was trying to nap.
Someone mowing their lawn too!
Lawn mowers, garbage disposers, leaf blowers, fuck em all!
You forgot the 3 projects and unfinished english homework for the next day
Wait to get loaded/unloaded for like 5 hours then when I finally fall asleep a forklift jostles the hell outta the truck
Vodka and some bong hits does the trick
forgot the lawn mower / trimmer
Earplugs. You’ll sleep like a baby.
Howard Leight brand.
They forgot the fucking lawnmower
Or the mowing of the lawn at all hours
Mine is more like take a few 5 minute “naps” until I forget to set an alarm and wake up hours later
"I'm just gonna concentrate on something I shouldn't"
Me:I'll take a nap i guess
Jesus: *gets reincarnated*
Forgot the lawnmower!
Opposite of this is when it’s cloudy outside, nobody’s home, and it’s raining softly
You forgot unbearable heat
Needs more lawnmowers and weed whackers for us out here in the burbs.
Me living in a rural area: I don’t have such weaknesses
Haha I live in the middle of nowhere so this doesn’t happen
No it's just farm equipment, straight pipe diesel trucks, gun shots, and chain saws lol.
L A W N M O W E R S !
No leaf blower?
"I'm gunna take a quick nap"
*wakes up 18 hours later*
"Motherfucker I said ***quick***"
My god, the phone ringing one is so true.
Don't ever call me for anything, ever.
Oh for me it's just falling asleep and then waking up 2hrs later confused as all fuck
Called by parents for whatever reason
Trying for 20 minutes and then just saying screw it
That thing you should have said in that heated moment 15 years ago...
Or me trying to sleep since I work 12-hour graveyard shifts.
Neighbor screaming at the top of his lungs at his girlfriend for waking him up while trying to sleep for a night shift, meanwhile I'm trying to sleep for MY FUCKING NIGHT SHIFT.
Or you wake up and its dark out... That's why i have too much anxiety to take a quick nap.
Was gonna study but ended up sleeping for 2 hours. Fuck me
now this. this is a starter pack
So real it hurts
You forgot the #1 most commom one... the neighbor or family member mowing the grass. The MTF lawnmower.
Oh god, if I ever decide to take a nap during the day, every single dad in a 5 mile radius decides it’s time to mow the lawn!
Somehow salivating on your pillow despite never doing it with proper nightly sleep is another integral feature of the nap experience.
Don’t forget that one neighbour that is trying to tear down the building.